I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
