I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
