So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
