Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize