Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
