i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
