No more Irish car bombs ever.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
