"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
