So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Just cropdusted the office
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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