Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
