god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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