you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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