Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
