O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
