I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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