we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
