Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
