the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she smelled like a LAN party
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
