He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
