I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
