Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
