They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
