VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
