so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize