Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
