so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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