do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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