Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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