sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize