Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
