Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
