she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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