Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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