I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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