Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
