yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
