No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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