if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
