thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
