Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
