Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
