Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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