Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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