i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
