We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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