he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
