Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
