Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
