i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I forget how to act sober
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
