walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
