His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
