How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
