You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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