I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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