Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
