He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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