I feel like abortions should bother me more
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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