in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize