yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
This girl is more easily done than said...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
