No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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