Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
