hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
